TO HAVE A SUSTAINED MARRIAGE 

It is not a surprise observe more of failed love affair speedier than going into it. In this case, it seems much easier to fall into love than to remain in love.

Falling love should not be mistaken for making a new relationship, where the overwhelming string of happiness controls the parties involved.

It is surprising to notice these days that marriages have become so loveless and proliferated. Marriage is a complex human relationship, and many enter it with little preparation. It has been spelt out in different forms concerning the quick stepping of people into love affair without any sign of readiness. We are required to demonstrate some proficiency when obtaining a driver’s license, but marriage licenses can be had for a signature.

This recklessness in a way has crippled many marriages, as few ones excel into a happy home. Perhaps one or both spouses entered marriage with high expectations but lack the skills that are necessary for a long-term relationship. It is observable that when people first become close, they feel a tremendous sense of validation from each other. The feeling as if their partner was the only other person on earth who sees things as they do. That feeling sometimes fades, and when it does, it can take a heavy toll on the marriage.

Happily, many marriages do not come to that point. Now in these outlines, some outlay will be will be considered necessary as a few of the factors that in some cases have caused love to face are exposed.

Disappointments, coming from having the unexpected, disintegrate the backbones of the marital affair into the separate entity. Many movies, books and popular songs paint an unrealistic portrait of love. While courting, a man and a woman may feel that they are experiencing a dream come true; but after a few years of marriage, they conclude that truly they must have been dreaming! Anything less than a storybook romance might make a workable marriage seem like an utter failure.

Frankly speaking, expectations that are usually high of goodness in marriage are entirely proper and demand. For example, it is appropriate to expect love, attention, and support from one’s mate. Yet, even these wishes may go unfulfilled. Many along the line of marriage consider themselves unmarried and loneliness overshadows their ways.

Another responsible factor, not forgettable one, of course, is the incompatibility, where there is nothing in common between the two partners which indeed dangerous to co-existence.

Many couples work far separately from each other in virtually everything. Not a day passes without argument from the simple discussion that culminates into bitterness, anger and regret of involving the marriage. They consider themselves a total mismatch.

Usually, it does not take long for a married couple to discover that they are not as much alike as they seemed to be during courtship. Marriage often showcases characteristics that the partners had managed to hide from themselves throughout their single lives.

As a result, after marriage, some couples may conclude that they are completely incompatible. Despite some similarities in taste and personality, most people enter marriage with major differences in style, habits, and attitudes.

Always in a conflict through arguments that disintegrate into an uncontrollable rivalry.

Many at times, many get astonished at how frequent fighting takes place between them, yelling even, or worse, steaming around in silence for days, especially in the early days of marriage.

In marriage, disagreements are inevitable. But how are they handled is another question? In a healthy marriage, husband and wife feel free to voice a complaint. But too often in the heat of anger complaints are expressed in a destructive fashion, as an attack on the spouse’s character.

When this happens, the conversation is a battleground where viewpoints are defended with grim determination and words are weapons instead of tools of communication. One of the most damaging things about arguments that are escalating out of control is that partners tend to say things that threaten the very lifeblood of their marriage.

During apathy, break up stands in minds of many have tried to make the marriage work. Some concluded that it will never work out any longer, for those of them that have children think more about how to take care of their children.

Marriage is now considered having apathy as the opposite of love instead of hate. Indeed, indifference can be every bit as destructive to a marriage as hostility.

Disillusionment, incompatibility, conflict, and apathy are just some of the factors that may contribute to a loveless marriage. Regardless of the cause, is there hope for spouses who seem to be trapped in a loveless marriage?

FACTORS OF LOVELESS MARRIAGES

MONEY:

One might imagine that budgeting would help unite a couple through the necessity of working together, pooling their resources for the basics of living, and enjoying the fruits of their labours. But here, too, what could bond a couple in a joint venture often serves to separate them.

PARENTHOOD:

We’ve found that 67 percent of couples experience a significant drop in marital contentment after their first child is born and there are eight times more conflict. This is partly because parents are tired and don’t have a lot of time for themselves

DECEIT:

Infidelity usually involves deceit, and deceit, pure and simple, is a betrayal of trust. With trust identified as a crucial component in all successful long-term marriages, is it any wonder that deceit can wreak havoc on a marital relationship?

SEX:

By the time people file for divorce, sexual deprivation of many years’ standing is shockingly common. In some cases, the sexual relationship was never established, and in others, sex was mechanical, merely a vent for one partner’s physical needs.

WHERE TWO ELEPHANTS FIGHT

Can the quality of your marriage affect your children? It is clear that babies of unhappy parents have higher heart rates during playful interactions and aren’t as able to soothe themselves. Over time, marital conflict leads to lower achievement in school, regardless of the children’s level of reasoning. Children of well-adjusted married couples do better both scholastically and socially, because their parents have shown them how to treat other people with respect and handle emotional upsets.